Getting Sent to the Principal's Office (and Principality in General)

I got sent to the principal's office today. In my entire educational history, the amount of times I've been sent to the principal's office can be counted on one hand. The amount of times I've been sent to the principal's office for doing something wrong cannot be counted on one hand, because I've never done anything bad (enough to be sent to the principal's office). Let me recount, in backwards chronological order, all the times I remember traveling to that little office.

1. Today I received a note in World Civilizations telling me to go to the principal's office right away! Yes, there was a little checked box on the yellow card with "right away!" checked off—that includes the unnecessary exclamation point. So I went. Right away! I found out that the principal was missing my "Internet Use Agreement" form, which I had already turned in three times: once at the beginning of freshman year, once at the beginning of sophomore year, and once for the computer class I was required to take. Why they didn't have it is a real mystery. After I signed the fourth form I was free—unless they lose it again.

2. Last year I got sent to the principal's office for skipping English. I have never in my entire life skipped English class. As it goes, our English teacher was on maternity leave that month and we had the most amazingly awesome substitute teacher. English was also fifth hour, smack dab in the middle of the day. Of all the classes I could have chosen and all the hours of the day I could have skipped I never would have ever chosen fifth hour English with the amazingly awesome substitute teacher. (I definitely would have skipped seventh hour Biology with the sixty-nine-year-old lady.) Fortunately, I got away unscathed and free.

3. In third grade I was called to the principal's office to say the school announcements. It was mentally scarring and included a joke with a punchline of "boo-berry," and I would not like to go into any more detail than is necessary.

Getting sent to the principal's office under false accusations isn't uncommon at our school. I'm pretty sure the principals just get bored of sitting there all day and not not punishing children. My friend once got sent in because someone signed on with her name in the computer lab and left a note on the desktop saying they were going to bomb the school. We suspect a Death Eater had something to do with it.

But it is true that whatever you get sent to the principal's office for, they remain emotionless droids. The other day, a girl held up a hand to high five our principal, and he did, but he never even cracked the slightest of smiles. It's a high five. Smile goshdarnit!

That is all. Please do your best to force your principal to smile. Maybe try and tickle him. Just don't end up in the principal's office because of it.