Important Information that Everyone Should Know.

I've been in high school for a while now. I'm qualified to hand out this valuable information.

1. Best friends aren't a necessity. Friends that will let you copy their homework are.

• 1B. Homework is public property. Not letting someone borrow it is like not letting someone use that plastic lounge chair at the pool—meanie. I'll let you borrow my french sentences whenever you want as long as I can copy your electron configurations.

2. Cramming for finals is all right. There is no reason for you to know what trisomy 21 is beyond the last day of school, unless you're going to be a microbiologist—then it would be pretty important, I guess.

3. Learn how to sleep with your eyes open AND/OR grow really long bangs. It'll come in handy.

• 3B. Look interested and you won't be called on.

4. Become a great schmooze. Perfect the little half-smile, apologetic puppy dog eyes, and quiet voice, and you can get away with practically anything. Late for class? "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! My locker was jammed!" Seriously showed up ten minutes late for class the other day and didn't even get a tardy.