The Rogue Bludger
In which a bludger chases Harry, he ends up in the hospital, and someone new is petrified.
Hermione's crush on Gilderoy Lockhart is utterly perplexing. Clearly he isn't smart and clearly he didn't do the things that he said he did in those books that he said he wrote. Everyone seems to realize this except for Hermione, who is still head over heels for him. It's kind of funny that she probably has the most common sense out of the three of them, yet she always seems to have crushes on famous guys. a.k.a. Lockhart, Krum, Ron.
They've started brewing a polyjuice potion in the hope of discovering whether or not it is Draco Malfoy who is petrifying the muggle borns. Hermione is pretty ridiculous at potions. This one will take a month.
Then it's the first Quidditch match of the season, and the game is addled only by the presence of the killer bludger that loves Harry. Obviously it was Draco Malfoy who tampered with it. If there's one thing you know from reading Harry Potter, it's that you can always blame Draco Malfoy. Finally the bludger does kill his arm, but not before Harry catches the Snitch and wins the game. If you want to see an accident, you should go to a Quidditch match. Quidditch itself is a fine sport, but things like dementors, jinxed broomsticks, and jinxed bludgers are always popping up at games and landing Harry in the hospital wing.
Actually, it wasn't the bludger that landed him in the hospital wing, it was Lockhart, duh. Lockhart, the big dummy, tries to mend Harry's arm but instead removes all of the bones in it. Gross. In the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey gives him a little potion to regrow his bones (it's just that simple!).
Dobby visits him and lets slip that it was he who blocked the platform and tampered with the bludger. Dobby means well, he really does. We still don't technically know that the Malfoys are Dobby's owners, but Holy Hippogriffs are they nasty to him. He briefly mentions that if his owners give him clothes then he'll be free. At least he never has to do the laundry. On a serious note, though, it's extraordinarily sad that owners of house elves think so little of them that they don't even provide them with the basic immediate needs of food, shelter, and clothing. House elves only get shelter, and maybe leftovers, I'm not sure.
The chapter ends with a few teachers bringing Colin Creevey into the wing, petrified. He's the first human to be. We learn that Dumbledore believes in the Chamber of Secrets and that it has been opened again.
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